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Friday, May 7, 2010

Dear Dublin Tourists,

Shops sell bottled water in Ireland. There is no need for you to wear a Camelback or Bear Grylls outdoor pants stuffed with provisions. You can buy stuff here. We have grocery stores that sell fruits, vegetables, snacks, etc. You can even go to Pizza Hut or McDonald's if that's your thing. Also, you know when you're walking really slow and videotaping your way along the sidewalk? No one will want to watch that when you get home. I promise. Move to the side and take some pictures. You might even get one that's good enough to hang on the wall. You can't hang a video on a wall. Oh, and speaking of walking, the green man means 'Go', the yellow man means 'You can still make it if you hop to it', and the RED man means 'Stop'. No need to line up in an impenetrable wall along the sidewalk when the green man turns yellow. Some of us still want to go. I know walking around the city can make you tired. That doesn't mean you and your friends should cop a squat on the steps into the shops, blocking the entrance entirely. If you look closely when you do this, you'll see a lot of the local shoppers rolling their eyes at you. We really hate that.

Okay, that's it for today. I'm pretty sure tomorrow will bring some new advice for you!

Thanks for paying attention!

Love,
Me

6 comments:

  1. Tourist season, huh? We had similar issues when we lived in the mountains and all the city people would come out to see the fall colors, driving their cars 15mph! Yes, yes, it's pretty, but I want to go home!
    I hope things clear up for you.

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  2. No! The Camelback/Bear Grylls guy was American. Alas, the rest of them WERE Spanish.

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  3. LOL!

    Fortunately we don't get a lot of tourists in this part of Dublin. However, when we lived downtown Berlin they were EVERYWHERE. Drove me nuts!!

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  4. Brilliant! Especially the video-taping and lining up at the lights part. I work a few days a week near Temple Bar. Nightmare city. The worse are people trying to get Trinity into a picture without traffic so they walk into the road!! Lunatics

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  5. Too funny (yet annoying)! When I went to undergrad school in DC, I remember at least 2 years where I actually could not get to class due to the tourists coming to see the Cherry Blossoms. I drove to school and it was impossible to find parking. One of my coursemates had a similar problem and we still laugh about it today.

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